After twenty years...

"The world cries for men who are strong--strong in conviction, strong to lead, to stand, to suffer. I pray that you will be that kind of man--glad that God made you a man, glad to shoulder the burden of manliness in a time when to do so will often bring contempt."

--Elisabeth Elliot in a letter to her nephew
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Twenty years ago today there was a flock of women in royal blue dresses, a brilliantly ornamented cake, and a Chrysler New Yorker filled with Styrofoam packing peanuts. Twenty years ago today was my parents’ wedding day.

Today there was a leather briefcase, dumbbells, a grocery cart, and a 1996 Chrysler Town and Country. Today was my parents’ twentieth wedding anniversary.*

Many, if not most, girls envision their perfect wedding day, and I am right there with ‘em—sitting in the back of Books-A-Million flipping through a bridal magazine while concealing the cover from snickering tween boys coveting the latest manga magazines on the next shelf. Flower choices range from gardenias, to roses, to tulips, to irises. There will be live music primarily featuring the piano. My dress will be white, beautiful, and elegant. Despite my bookstore perusing, apparel details beyond that still remain somewhat blurry.

Amid the fancied flowers, music, guests, and attendants, stands the crucial figure. Waiting at the altar for me, his precious bride, my groom will be the most extraordinary man. His face too currently appears distorted in my fantasies, but if He intends me to marry, I trust my Lord to know now every freckle on my future beloved’s cheek.

For me, however, my reveries do not end with the pronouncement, kiss, cake, and Cinderella carriage heading off into the sunset. Walt Disney’s fairy tales may wrap up with “happily ever after”, but is marriage merely about two lovebirds gazing into each other’s eyes ad nauseam for the next sixty-seven and a half years? Or, could nuptials instead indicate the colliding of two egos in the hope of still cherishing each other’s quirks and relishing fleeting moments together when oil changes, grocery lists, credit card bills, and parent-teacher conferences vie for precedence, even on anniversaries?

If love commands more than romance, I request more than just a tuxedoed charmer for my prospective groom. A succession of demands soliciting utmost discretion, marriage requires acute vigilance and passion from both partners in addition to a fervent commitment to, quite simply, commitment.

I frequently pray for my future husband. In fact, my petitions often echo those Elisabeth Elliot offered on her nephew’s behalf. I will not disclose specific particulars on a public Internet blog, but I will say that at the heart of the matter, I want him to be a godly man. I pray that he will daily seek the will of God and fall before Him humbly, always relying on the Lord for strength and mercy.

As I endeavor to further discern qualities of a valuable woman, wife, and mother, I am also learning how to recognize characteristic of a good man, husband, and father. My chief realization thus far? If we hope to celebrate a twentieth wedding anniversary someday, my husband and I must have Christ as cornerstone of our marriage and home.
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*I honestly did start writing this the night of my parents' anniversary, but my poor habit of writing most clearly late at night led to the postponed finishing and publishing of this blog post! Also, my parents did go out and celebrate their anniversary nicely. I just focused on the rest of the day instead, to help make my point! :)