Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Cost of Free Time

When I last posted, I was packing half of what I own into storage tubs and praying my transition to college life wouldn’t be completely overwhelming. Thankfully, the past 25 days have gone exceedingly well. For more information about my time at Transy, feel free to check out my other blog.

Unfortunately, as you might notice, this is my first “among the maidens” post in more than 25 days. College is interesting and entertaining, but it is also demanding. As my economics class discussed last week, even for someone with as many resources as Bill Gates, time is scarce. Twenty-four hours always make one day.

Last Thursday, one of my professors asked the class to write out on index cards the different ways we spend our time. He then gave each of us 24 poker chips, one for each hour of the day, and told us to allocate the chips to the different cards. This supposed lesson in time management concluded then with me recognizing I waste too much time each day on Facebook or other semi-meaningless activities, but I do not believe I realized any true lesson about time until this afternoon during a (texting) conversation with my friend.

After relating my day’s schedule to her, she merely observed, “Man, you have a busy day, don’t you, ma’am!” I responded with a couple of comments such as that I love staying busy here and that when I am busy I do not have the time to waste dwelling on unnecessary things.

My last text to her continued with the suggestion that I have been using the free time I do have to think of God and how I can work to represent him daily on this campus. I acknowledged that I ought to be spending more time in the Word and in prayer, but also that I am trying to make this “free time” fruitful.

This friend has yet to reply, but I hope that if and when she does respond, it is not with the gracious spirit I know her to always possess, but rather that she challenges my words just I have in this past hour. Have I truly been fruitful for His kingdom this month? Yes, I have sought a new Christian community here in Lexington, attending Sunday services at Southland Christian Church, joining a girls’ Bible study group on Wednesday nights, and getting involved with the Campus Crusades for Christ chapter on Transy’s campus. I try to read my Bible most days, and my friends and I will text each other encouraging scriptures we encounter several times a week. Prayer remains an integral part of my waking hours.

Even as I read back through that last paragraph, however, I know I am lacking. As wonderful as it has been to worship God through music at both South and Cru, how often do I care more about my own contentment during those times than about fully glorifying my incredible Lord? When I do finally spare a few minutes at the end of the day (or actually, usually the very start of the day) to devote to my Bible, I barely keep my eyes open long enough to read through the passage. What about my heart? If I can hardly process the words in my mind, how do I expect to gain any deeper understanding? I believe I used the word “devote” loosely up just a few lines. And then there’s prayer. In the sixth chapter of Matthew, Jesus tells His people how they should pray. This prayer, the Lord’s Prayer, reflects God’s holiness, will, provision, mercy, and deliverance. My prayers too often only reflect my personal needs and desires. My church’s motto is “Christ first, others second, we’re third.” Perhaps I need to work on remembering and applying that mentality.

You might notice that I put quotation marks around free time in an earlier paragraph. Of my several realizations today, this point lies at the heart of them all. When I say I have free time, I mean that I have time not designated to any obligations. But is “free” really a fitting description? What if Christians began acknowledging that all of our time has come at a price, and is only ours by the grace of our Lord? This time has been given to us, but not without cost. What if we earnestly devoted our “free time” to the work and will of the One who paid that ultimate cost? Could there be a greater act of worship?

Though I have another blog now (with deadlines) and must write papers for class as well each week, I hope I will no longer let this page slip down my list of priorities. It’s time to refocus.
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Note: I asked a friend of mine to look over this before I hit publish. I thought her comments on my last paragraph were worth sharing:

"You will not let this page slip down your list! You've gotta do more than hope, because that gives you room to back out when it gets tough. When I hope for something, it's more like some certain amount of chance, where as when I set my mind on something, I will more likely get it accomplished."

I thank my God for friends willing to hold me accountable like this. She was right. So, my last paragraph should instead read this way:

Though I have another blog now (with deadlines) and must write papers for class as well each week, I WILL no longer let this page slip down my list of priorities. It’s time to refocus.